not as glamourous as it seems

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 03:52:06 GMT

i sat one day, thinking that the year is almost over
i have experienced so many things throughout this year
...i've learned who i am
...who i can and cannot trust
...and that only I can truly make myself happy

i also thought about other things that i haven't accomplished yet
and whether or not i still have time to reach these goals
i kind of miss my summer self
...not worrying about anything at all
everything just fills my head day after day and it makes me feel so lost

for once in the past year i can admit i feel lost/absent/indecisive/unaccomplished/...empty

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 21:47:48 GMT

been a while since ive been on lj
who is bored enuff to read about me life? haha

too damn tired..didnt sleep till about 5 am-ish last night? damn boxing being delayed
fight was good still...3 rounds...TKO...who hoo =D

haha so happy im not starting school till september!
have lots of time to figure things out

++++++

its just all too complicated...
they actually believe it? haha i wish..

...i wish it was all true
but in reality, its just a dream
a dream i had somehow brought to life
and i believed it
only for a split second
until it drifted away...

maybe i looked to deep into it
its been a while since ive felt that way
it probably wasnt even there at all
...it was all in my imagination

whoa there...

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 03:21:44 GMT

grad in two weeks, means i need to find out where it is...
still have to get shoes and a sweater to wear cause for sure its going to be SO COLD like it is now...boo
cant wait to see ppl yet again since parting ways
last offical thing to do as a highschool student, goodbye pope =D

bored out of my mind. cant do anything cause everyone is busy with school, which i will be in janurary
taking advantage of this extra long summer break, because next year ill only be having two weeks of actual summer break =(

aside from being bored out of my mind, alot of things are happening...
which i enjoy, cause it all happened out of nowhere, bring some excitment to my life =D
ill have it all figured out after friday...who knows what after then lol

summer is over

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 01:10:17 GMT

who knew summer would finish so quick? had so much great memories this summer, for once! lol. aw won't forget everything that happened! so much highlights of the summer, nothing could top it...maybe not until next year again! so bored out of my mind. trying to find ways to fill my days. aside from working, i don't know what else to do. try to keep myself busy. but at least im finally going to school this janurary. feel like such an outsider hearing how much fun people are having. ill be having fun like that too soontime! either at seneca or centennial. who knows? but for sure im so going to get easily distracted. lol. hot guys everywhere! darn. why do i un-focus so easy? these days it sucks alot. during the week im just working while people have fun at school. but ill be busy like them soontime! just wait. whats in store for me the rest of this year? who knows. things just seem to be getting better and better in my life! i love it =D what surprises are lurking around the corner in my life...hahaha

miss people too much! i hate it. its so sad that i barely got to see other people before summer ended.

time will tell with everything...

BIRTHDAY!!!!

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 02:08:57 GMT

officially working at BITTERSWEET at town. who hoo....goodbye other lame-ass job =P

this years birthday was the best!!
thanx for all of those who came to me and carol's debut! it was a blast
the performances where awesome and HOT =P
after party was fun...to a certain point (sorry to everyone for my cousin's behaviour =S)
the morning after sucked like shit, headace to the MAX!

actual birthday was good. worked. walked around town. met up with ppl
went to montana's. they believed it was me and carol's birthday! lol
played pool, ppl making me feel bad that ppl where at woodie woodchucks for my "surprise" party
was actually surprised when i got home and the surprise party was there
thanx for those who could actually make it, that day was so fun

shopping spree!! whoa! spent so much..lol
so gotta do that again=D

gotta work yet again...so tired..make my last two weeks of summer worth it!

*send the pics or links too them please!!

THANX EVERYONE FOR MAKING MY !*TH BIRTHDAY SO MEMORABLE!!! LOVE U ALL

plain stupidness...

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 20:06:57 GMT

this summer has been one of the greatest times of my life, but maybe , just maybe it'll be ending..
how retarded, dumbest reason ever!

anyways, last two days jokes....oh no BEACH CREW yet again! but this time not at the beach =D
the "drinking game" was so wrth it! lol also, that rum and "cream soda" was more like just plain rum
had to crash, tried to stay up...andrew you technically fell asleep first =P "time to get balls in your face" lmfao
everyone eventually tried to sleep at like 2, couldn't because someone was trying to scare us !
going home by 6am, and trying to sneak in without parents knowing, did work..i think. but all the blame is on my stairs and door
pizza, poker, and a movie...ended at 12am

"you have to come home by 12. no excuses. OK?!"--> gayness =S

JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE tonight! can't wait

summer is gonna so officially suck now. omg, how angry and pissed off i am!
not to sure about the after-debut party, so gonna try to make it happen, and ill do whatever

i hate painting, i hate doing shit at home, i hate BEING HOME!! "wtf?!"

all you can eat wings

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 16:35:59 GMT

woke up at 7:30 am to go jogging. was surprised i actually lasted so long =D have to keep it up, felt so awake and rejuvenated the whole day. clear my head.

well first i went to christina's house to film some stuff for this video she is making. some of my clips were so random! i love it though, because knowing tina she would make it look cool =D omg, i say some of the other video clips she had from like the beach and the black and white bbq, and i must say, hilarious. omg, i never knew she filmed all of that! i shouldn't get on her bad side, wouldn't want her to use all of those against me =S

yesterday was so fun...who would of known you could go to all you can eat wings place?
all you can eat wings:

table#!-norman, assok, william, me, melvin, melanie, and astrid <--- THE "COOL" TABLE
table#2-lisa, desiree, victor,helen, helen's sister, kristen, kayleigh, jeff, his brother, and some other people
"tombstone" wings so frikken HOT, lips were burning afterwards ("MAN-UP!")
melvin dying after eating 2 tombstone wings lol
picture taking w/mel, astrid, and everyone
dairy queen closed
mcdonalds closed, only drive-thro open
sat outside to decide what to do next, everyone started leaving becasue they had work or school "ew, it smells like shit here!"
saying goodbyes to will
mel, astrid, assok, melvin and me met up wit will at tim hortons at like 12
saying goodbye for the third and last time hurt like shit

"we're all gonna go and party down in El Salvador!" *woot woot

hands still have a hint of the wings smell =I so disgusting

*i tried to pretend that i didn't really care anymore, but all the talks, laughs, and glances made me weak again...wat a lame ass i am =P

now time to refocus and finally hand in my last assignments for eclass and enjoy summer (even more...)

summer days

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 15:08:38 GMT

been forever yet again since i have been on and update so here goes....

hmmm. last two weeks so boring, juss doing e-class shit and working...whoo what a great way to spend my summer vacation =P

what made it all good again was CAROLS BEACH BASH here is a list of some of the things that occured:

people trying to find us
making boobies on jon ("stop laughing their cracking" "are they moving?")
only eating marshmallow for most of the day (thanx to lester for the chips and adam for the pop)
vodka in a water bottle aka. andrew's niagara falls water
andrew yelling into the open during his drunk stage ("smirnoff" "corona")
beach volleyball (lester, me, carol/ellian) "i've got sand in my shorts!" "stop distracting me!" "take it off"
hand prints on our asses (carol, me) thanx to luke and lester
truth and dares =D (lap dance, licking body parts, using teeth to untie shorts, disturbing other families...)
fivesome-lesbian-kiss-with-tongue-action <--thanx to carol for getting reminded by tina ("that was soft")
bonfire, roasting marshmallows
lester's "dry-hump", luke's "sitting" game of trust
the drIve home *wave

aww what a day. gotta do it all over again!!
had a good talk with lester, made sense for once lol! ahah..j/k he helped me clear my mind. also a good drinking buddy, chugging those coronas, what a bad example!! "we need a funnel"

sowwie another thing to mention HAPPY BELATED 18TH BIRTHDAY GABBY!!!!!!!!!

all those "stares" during that day
"he has a girlfriend!" said it like 5 times...lol

not to angry about not calling anymore, so relax
ppl calling to see if i got home safely *cough cough

never again, if we do this we need to bring food or tell ppl it is mandatory to bring food! =P stomach was killing me when i got home

have other things planned that are coming up, can't wait for them
missing people, haven't seen them in like FOREVER

have work until 9 and then another shin-dig right after
*if she's not there its a lie
ill take that into consideration...

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 15:34:09 GMT

i really don't noe who i've become lately...

partyin...

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 20:36:23 GMT

haven't been on a while...need to update

what's been going on:
- examz done, time to just relax and wait till next year again
- spend time with ppl, seem to be away alot
- need to figure things out

black & white bbq
- its was all good until that one stupid moment
- decided to take a break from drinking
- a lil drama started during the day
- had to talk it out w/ someone
- dancing was the best, highlight of my night (pictures to prove)

- went to e-class meeting bymyself, all the way at yonge and sheppard
- travelling on the subway by urself is a must for everyone

- parents did not see me all day on monday, tuesday. came home at like 1ish both days
- need to relax and spend time at home

- damn music is so addictive, so many memories though *=D

highschool...

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 21:41:03 GMT

damn school, it does get in the way of everything
just want examz to be over
makes no diference
still coming back for a sem

aside from that, life seemz so good right now
can't believe it happened just like that
there till 5:30 in da morning
the sunrise was well worth it
if i hadn't have gone that night to the party
nothing would of happened

summer is officially here
its so gonna rock this year

STUDY HARD THEN PARTY HARD!!

...

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 20:11:08 GMT

its almost all over....
decisions keep on building up
my future is all in my hands
what is going to happen??

finally deciding to give up on life, well at least on some things
cannot relax

almost over...

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 01:34:58 GMT

can't believe school is almost over
how did i only notice now
gives me only two weeks for something to happen
its all good no matter what
at least i finally said something

gotta start studying for examz
gotta keep grades up to get into uni
still have to do e-calss or i can't graduate

never trust ur school...they could screw u over so bad...

always smilimg *=D

prom was AWESOME *=D

Sun, 21 May 2006 23:15:07 GMT

who knew such an event like this would be one i'd never, ever forget?! it was so much fun getting ready fr prom. never getting my hair done at the same place ever again. $80 bucks?? retarded shit. lied to me on the phone how at most it would only cost 50 bucks. well whatever.

prom was fun. seeing everyone in their dresses, all did up. how cute did everyone look?? so happy i was the only one wearing silver. anyways, dinner was good, but then after that, we all started dancing. who would of known people would of come out! i love cecile and kristel for that. those two are crazy on the dance floor! bumping and grinding with all the guys =D but some people had gone too far dancing a little too scandalous *cough cough. it was so fun. half the time i didn't even know who i was dancing with until like a couple minutes later. too many guys to count. haha, what a whore i was. it sucked so much when it was all over, but then i still had the after party to look forward too after.

after prom i had to get home, change, and pack last minute for margaret's house. i felt so bad because the food had already arrived and i had the money to pay for it. thankz to marg's parents, they paid for it. got there with the booze and ate first. only drank two bottles of vexx, because then i got to preoccupied with dancing once again. had to help watch a certain couple of people (luke, cat, andrew) who were searching for more drinks. andrew was so out. he was in and out the whole night.luckily he stayed overnight. shankar was watching everyone. he was like our mom for the night. we all didn't sleep till like 6 in the morning?? then had to wake up up like 9. all the guyz left except julian we left the next day. we just all watched tv and chilled in the morning. we had money left over so we bought mcdonalds for breakfast.

by like 1 everyone was dancing again. and then andrew and daniel had to find the rest of the vodka. it was so bad, cuz i had like 6 shots, and i didn't feel it at first, but i knew when it was getting to me. at first i could really walk or stand up too much. but then i can't really rememeber everything. i just remember random things like dancing, going on the trampoline, sleeping on the bed, then the floor, then the couch. tracey and vic lifting me to the couch. people asking me if i was ok. i hope i didn't do anything too stupid. i hope everyone tellz me exactly what i did. at one moment i felt like throwing up so badly. i ran to the washroom. just then my mom calls me and tells me shes waiting for me outside. i remember running outside to get carol, and saying goodbye to everyone. i tried to walk as straight to the car. i feel asleep as soon as i got in.

when i got home, i climbed up the stairs to my room right away and feel asleep. i then woke up at like 9 to take a shower, and then fall asleep again. the next morning i had to wak up at 5 to go to niagara. i felt like absolute shit. my head was hurting, my legs where sore from dancing. i didn't feel like eating at all. all i ate was a stick or bbq, and two cups of hot chocolate all day. im just really sleepy still. don't feel like eating at all.

my dad was laughing when he asked if i drank. he was saying "u should of known your limit and when to stop before you get drunk". haha. i don't think i was too drunk. just a little tipsy.

*pictures say a 1,000 words. i learned that after this weekend

what a night. PROM was the GREATEST and so was the AFTERPARTY. need to do this again, well not the drinking part though. hope everybody had as much fun as i did!

Fri, 05 May 2006 00:22:10 GMT

busy like WHOA

Prom in like 2 weeks!!!

its alright

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 00:17:14 GMT

i really could care less about not knowing, its not like its hurting me...

BDAY at the beach pushing through at this moment =D...

got into ryerson and york. i actually have a future now...

Ellian's Debut

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 18:01:23 GMT

i am so tired this morning. had such a hard time hetting up today. and you want to know why?? well because of ELLIAN"S DEBUT!!! omg what a night! dancing, eating, and just having a great time with everyone.

Got there so early, at like 5-ish. me, camz, carol and jessica sat there, watching the catillion people practice. ohh, the yellow dresses were so pretty! and the guys, in their green shirts and ties, as camille said "very suave". freezing my ass off waiting for everyone to come, we were like the very first people there! its wan't until like 5:45-ish when people started coming, and by 6 we went into the hall. everyone looked so good yesterday. all dressed up and glamourous looking!

my table, which was by the food consisted of me, trina, john, david, astrid, van, margaret and carol. tried to eat whatever i could while waiting for dinner to be served. all of the food was good, especailly the pasta =D. dessert was so good too! mmm....ellian's birthday cake, the napolean, the cheesecake thingy...couldn't get enough of the dessert.

spent most of the night shaking my ass! hahaha...it was so much fun! aww my dancing buddies, cat, trina, margaret, tina, gabby, and camz. haha...all of our stupidness came out last night! danced for like a good 3 hours overall. also the catillion dance was really good! it was so cute becasue you could see everybody concentrating so hard while dancing! all the hard work paid off.

it was so great seeing people i haven't seen in a while and meeting new people. why can't someone else have a debut so i could do this all over again?! haha...i'll make my own party.

got to get productive these last days before going back to school. haven't done any homework at all.

*if anyone posts pictures of last night please tell me so i could steal them all!!

march break

Fri, 10 Mar 2006 01:36:18 GMT

finally march break is here. i could just relax, and do whatever i want, well kind of. got to finish reading my two books from english before march break ends. got to study bio and understand it. got calculus, an am going to do it because i need to understand how to do it before going back to school. also, i have driving school from the 12-15, got to work (don't know my shifts yet), have a debut to go too (ELLIAN"S DEBUT) on march 17. can't wait. actually finally found something to wear to ellian's debut, just got to go buy new shoes for the event since i didn't buy a dress =D...also still have to go find my prom dress...hope i can find something this month. and i still got to find a bag, shoes, earrings...got to find everything. i can't believe prom is in like 2 months! it came so quickly!! this year is ending really fast and i hate it cuz then that means summer is going to come and that'll be the last time i could chill with everyone before we all go to uni or college. aww well.

i HATE work and its like what, only my second month! its not even worth all of the stress

*=D

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 20:33:47 GMT

second sem has just begun, and im kind of okay with all my courses except calculus. i hate math, so that gives a pretty good reason on why i really don't like this course. i can't do anything now, its my only math course, and i need a math course for university, but im scared im going to get a really bad mark, and then my average will drop, and then i won't get into university!! whew. im just so tired of stressing over university. it sucks. i could have never pictured myself doing all of this right now. i feel that i am not prepared to make all of these important decisions.
anyways, aside from that serious thought, when are there going to be parties again? im just waiting to unwind and just have fun. me and andrew were talking at lunch on friday that we should have like an early prom party in april to see which people, when druck, are fun. haha. i know stupid right? what a nerd. on that note, about prom, i can't wait! planning to get my dress over march break, and i hope i do find the exact style and color that i want, and all the other stuff easily. want to go in a limo. anyone care to join me? if i don't go in a limo to prom, i have another method of transportation. TTC BABY! ohh yeah. haha. whats happening afterwards, i dont know, we'll have to see.
something, well someone is seriously freaking me out right now, and some of you know who it is. come on, can you say weird? i dont know what to say, cause i am just so darn nice. and his whole bet with another person, please. what chance is there that im going to say yes! eww. im just freaked out.
maricar is a whale: because most of the time shes under water, but when she comes up she makes a big splash (andrew's analogy of what animal i am), but then again i am also a dolphin =D
*i am officially a member of the working class people, well part-time at least

Sun, 05 Feb 2006 14:57:56 GMT

-examz are DONE
-jess and trinaz party on fri was so fun
-dare and dare jenga
-baby shower on sat
-new semester on mon

study time

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 23:42:07 GMT

EXAMZ are coming up quick
only 2 weeks left
STUDY HARD PPL

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 23:46:05 GMT

- chemisrty quiz on fir
- religion unit test on fri
- religion presentation on mon
- chemistry lab due mon

hav ssoo much more coming my way this month. i could feel it. but hello?! are teachers all planning this because it seems that everytime exams are about to come, they just pile more and more work!
how great is it going to be when i leave this school behind!
thats if i even get accepted anywhere =I

yorkdale

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 22:36:55 GMT

today was so fun. finally got to go out and just chill for a day without having to worry about anyone else.

-met up at the bus station at 12, froze my ass off waiting for everyone else
-cute guy sitting on our 'bench', haha, he took the same bus as me too
-those two "mofos" took forever to come, surprisingly cat was on time
-train ride was fun, almost missed our stop at yorkdale, too deep in our convo
-me nd cat split from tracey nd vic cuz they wanted to eat
-went into stores that has stuff that costed as much as one years tuition for university
-looked for cat's "ganster" hat
-tracey and vic left early cuz vic wasn't feeling good
-tried to find a top for the debut on sat

ewww...do guyz realize that the whole bandana in the back pocket of baggy pants that are down to your knees even when wearing a belt is not hot! in any way?!
EWWWW....

bus ride home, cat nd i outlined our "perfect guy"
-wears a golf shirt
-wears another shirt under the golf shirt
-has pants that fit but aren't tight, and are slightly, baggy
-spiked hair, or a shaved head
sounds sexy right??haha...

still got to do my chemistry report. not going to do my religion presentation thingy cuz cat nd vic didn't know about it, will wait until i get back to school.

who's class is the best?? MINE!!! muah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...won the door decorating contest. actually participated in a school activity.

x-mas break

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 00:36:40 GMT

haven't updated in a while...but here is a recap of what went down:

Christmas Day
- ate alot of food
- had a karaoke contest (came 2nd)
- had a dance dance contest (came 2nd, AGAIN)
- got stuff i wanted...new jewelary box, eeyore doll, black boots

Boxing Day
- went shopping (obviously)
- bought a new pair of shoes, lots of scarves, earrings, hats, tops, pants, etc...

New Years
- ate alot, again
- drank alot
- stayed up till like, the early morning

yess...it does sound a little boring, i know. hahaha, was fun though. not looking forward ingoing back to school, still have to do my presentation for religion, and my report for chemistry. no biggie. will get it all over with.

I know its a little late, but being my gay self decided to wish everyone a HAPPY HOLIDAYZ!!!

aww more memories

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 00:05:47 GMT

week is almost over just 2 and a half more days
saturday was so FUN
ate to my stomach's content
WHITE WON
blue never went caroling
had a lloonngg girl talk
didn't leave until past 1 in the morning (sorry tina)

sunday was boring
did ISUs and homework all day
was a lazt mofo for most of the day
ate alot...again

monday, was so boring
as soon as i woke up i wished i was back in my bed
started feeling dizzy in the library
had to take the bus home, stopped by A&W
got home, ate, felt sleepy
finished my part of my chem ISU
writing my very boring entry into LJ